American Solstice?

I have grown to appreciate winter solstice, the darkest day of the year. I like to use it as a day of reflection. This year it coincides with my last day of teaching before break, as well as a clusterfuck of epic proportions in Trump World.

The Justice Department is being led by a literal con artist who is signaling that he wants to shut down the Mueller investigation. Trump is shutting down the government to get money for slatted wall. Mattis resigned in protest after Trump decided at abandon long-supported military commitments. The stock markets are tanking. All of the other petty scandals and corruptions keep churning beneath it all.

Of all things yesterday seemed perhaps to be a breaking point for a lot of Very Serious People on the Republican side. They had expected Trump to be kept in check by the likes of Mattis, and now he has Hulked out and broken loose. Some folks in the media seem to think that this is some kind of turning point.

I am not holding my breath.

We have been down this road before. There was a similar reaction to the Access Hollywood tape. When Trump so flagrantly and publicly kowtowed to Vladimir Putin in public this summer we heard similar rumblings. In the end the Republicans maintained their end of their blood pact with Trump. He gets to be president and loot the country for his benefit while they get tax breaks and conservative judges. Expect that deal to carry on to the bitter end.

I know plenty of conservatives. Not one who voted for Trump has renounced him. They will all vote for him again. I certainly know a couple of Never Trumpers, but they never went for the devil's bargain to begin with. I would say that they would vote for the lowest piece of garbage embodying the worst attributes of this country rather than a Democrat, but guess what, they already have! They are not going to change their mind, they can only be outnumbered and overruled. They know that, which is why they are manipulating the system, from gerrymandering to hamstringing Democratic governors in lam duck sessions. This impulse will only get more pronounced.

Solstice gives hope in that for the next 365 days there will be more light than on this dark day. The media narrative is trying to say that America is hitting its solstice low point under Trump, but I think we have further to go. It will be dark day after darker day ahead. I'm not hopeless and I am committed to the fight, but I still don't see signs that we are headed in any way toward the light just yet. I hope this next year proves me wrong.

A Dawn of Spring Oldies Playlist

As I have indicated many, many times here, my emotions and consumption of music are highly molded by changes in the seasons. Some times of year certain music gets broken out to match the weather. The two most fecund moments are the start of autumn and, of course, spring. After a long, dark winter that never seemed to end spring has finally come to New Jersey. Nature is euphoric in its bursting, my barren backyard transformed itself into a blooming garden in a matter of days.

When it comes to spring I find myself listening to a lot of cheery oldies hits of the 70s AM radio gold variety. Their mellow tones and attitudes fit the excitement in my soul.  Here are a few of my favorites for this time of year.

Johnny Nash, "I Can See Clearly Now"

This is just a stunningly beautiful song, like the sun shining off the early morning dew on the grass. I've also always taken it as a metaphor for emerging from a period of depression. Their is a slight tone of relief as the clouds are being parted and the singer can finally "see clearly now." As someone whose mental state is dependent on sunshine, it certainly makes sense to me.

Glen Campbell, "Southern Nights"

The original Allen Toussaint is far trippier, this song is perfect for sipping a glass of wine on the back porch while the sun goes down. Both Toussaint and Campbell are gone, geniuses in their own fields who deserve to be remembered.

"It's A Sunshine Day," The Brady Bunch

Okay folks, let's amp up the cheese factor by several factors. Is this a dumb song? Yes. Are the Brady Bunch kids great singers. No. Is this song still a delight on a sunny May Sunday? You bet.

"Shake Your Body To The Ground," The Jacksons

This song encapsulates the exuberant blooming of spring, just as it represented Michael Jackson's flowering as a musical star in his own right. It is irresistible and I find myself playing it in my car with the windows rolled down this time of year.

"Let Your Love Flow," Bellamy Brothers

Has a funkier country song ever existed? It's got a groove reminiscent of "Southern Nights," but lyrics more specific about spring as a time for the blooming of love.

"Rock Me Gently," Andy Kim

This is the Platonic form of 70s AM radio gold. Just a little bit of funk and flash, earnest singing, spacey keyboards and lots of "baby baby" in the lyrics. It's also the best rip-off of Neil Diamond ever recorded.

Track of the Week: Beach Boys "Hang On To Your Ego"

As readers of this blog know, changes in the seasons have a big effect on my emotional state. Here in mid-May we are in a time of year I've always loved: late spring. It's warm but not yet hot, baseball is starting to get serious, and school is almost out. There are albums that I never listen to other times of the year but spin incessantly in late spring. The most notable is probably the Beach Boys' magnum opus Pet Sounds. It's an album that's light years ahead of stuff like "Fun Fun Fun," famously inspiring the Beatles to try to top it on Sgt Pepper.

The music fits this time of year, since it's about life transitions. Beneath the sparkly, beautiful surface are words of doubt and sadness. Evidently on "Hang On To Your Ego" things got a little too real, and Mike Love forced a change in Brian Wilson's lyrics over the same backing track, which appears on the album as "I Know There's An Answer." "Hang On To Your Ego" is thus one of the great deleted tracks of all time, as far as I'm concerned.  Instead of bland words about self-discovery, it's a warning against losing yourself to outside forces. While people tend to focus on it as giving caution to those who use LSD, the lyrics are mostly about people and the social pressures they exert. Usually songs on that subject are too adolescent or simple-minded, but this one has an air of wisdom about it.

The best part, of course, is the music. The sounds are surreal and psychedelic without being tacky. Some are so fittingly odd, like the bumblebee hum of the giant bass harmonica paired with a banjo, that I can't listen to this song passively. More than once this week I've had the windows of my car open and this song on the stereo, breathing deep the fecund late spring air and enjoying a quiet moment of grace.

The Wisdom Of Halloween

More than most people, I am attuned to changes in the seasons.  This might be partly because I grew up in central Nebraska, a place where the weather changes are violently breathtaking.  Summer there brings thunderstorms barreling down the Plains and winter blinding blizzards that come just as suddenly.  Living in a rural area, the changes in the seasons also marked obvious changes in the cycle of work and the cycle of life.  Spring's planting, summer's verdant bounty, fall's harvest and winter's dormancy all surrounded me.

Our oldest and best holidays come from ancient times and a world where the rhythms of agriculture dominated.  The holidays marked the season's changes, even if Christianity had been grafted onto them.  Christmas is the warm light in the midst of the winter solstice, Easter the celebration of nature's resurrection turned into Christ's.  The Church tried to turn Halloween into All Saints Day, but Halloween has come out victorious.  It comes at the end of October when the harvest has come in, the leaves mostly fallen, and grass has started to go brown.  Life is dying or going into hibernation, and thus the feeling that the line between the world of the living and dead is blurry.  Halloween is thus the wisdom of the ancients still available for us to draw from.

I must say, as I hear the leaves rustle on my street and the dark of night gets spookily dense, I can feel the cold hand of the world of the dead on my shoulder.  But its not all scary.  I have sadly lost many very close to me over the last few years.  My wife's grandfather, my grandmother, my cat, and one of my best friends have all lately passed into the realm of the dead.  Over the last week they have felt eerily closer to me, their presence almost palpable.  It's as if I can almost see their faces, and feel their touch again.  Sometimes that feeling is almost unbearable, but I am glad that this unsettling time also brings me closer to their spirits.

An Autumn Almanac

Over the past two weeks I've gone from having to put a box fan in the window at night so my wife and I could sleep to cold rain and chilly breezes.  Autumn is falling hard this year after an extended summer.  Autumn has always been my favorite of the seasons, and that witchy and magical moment on days like today when summer gives way to autumn's approach my favorite time of all.  In recent years, however, I have begun to feel less sanguine about it because I am finding it harder and harder to deal with winter.  When the cold rain falls on a day like today I think about the many months of cold and darkness that soon lie ahead, and that thought fills me with despair.  However, I still love the fall over winter's cold, summer's relentless heat and attendant ball sweat, and spring's inevitable allergies.  As I get older I have also learned to appreciate the smaller pleasures in life, mostly since those are the only ones you can count on. These are the little things about fall that I love.

Root Vegetables

I tend to very much orient what I eat towards the seasons, and that means lots of root vegetables in the fall.  One of my favorites is a carrot and rutabaga mash, an orange concoction that makes me feel fulfilled, healthy, and full every time I have it.  Of course, I also go in for turnips and parsnips too.  Give me some root vegetables in my beef stew and a pint of stout and I'm a happy man. I made a big pot of stew last week and it warmed my stomach hours after I ate it.

Halloween

Some holidays are about religious obligations, others about family obligations.  I love Halloween because it is a holiday devoted to fun, costumes, and candy, all things I thoroughly enjoy.  I love the excuse to watch cheesy monster movies and to dress up in costumes and make a fool of myself.  Now that I have children I enjoy the vicarious experience of sharing Halloween with them.  In Halloween I also see the wisdom of the ancients.  After around October 31st, the nights do really feel oppressively long and the sun distant and the icy hand of death closer. We need a day to mock the ghosts lest they get the better of us.

Dark beer

I tend to favor dark beer over lighter varieties like pilsener and IPAs, but in the summer heat it feels weird cracking open a porter.  This time of year, as the skies darken, so do the hues of my brews.  There's nothing like being wrapped in a sweater on a chilly night, sipping on a deep rich brew after a hard day of work.  The rich darkness of porters and stouts just seems so much more nourishing.

Playoff Baseball

I love baseball, and what's better than playoff baseball?  The normally sedate ballparks of high summer are transformed into packed houses full of fans hanging on every pitch.  This post-season, with my Mets in contention, has been even better than usual.

Apple Picking

I grew up in the country and am a sucker for any activity that brings me out a farm.  Now that I have kids I also look like less of a weirdo for going hog wild for apple picking. This year my wife and I had a blast with my daughters picking the apples right off the tree, apples that my wife converted into cans of apple butter so good I have been eating it for breakfast on my toast almost every day.  Apples might be my favorite fruit: subtle and satisfying, the beef stew of fruit, if you will.

Pumpkins

OK OK, I know that pumpkin spice has gotten way out of hand. However, let's not blame the poor humble  pumpkin itself for some people's over-infatuation with nutmeg.  For some reason I find the orange of pumpkins comforting, a bright beacon in a season when night falls sooner and harder and the morning sun gets more sluggish.  Painting and carving pumpkins is just too much fun when you've got twin toddlers like I do.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving along with Halloween is a tremendous holiday.  There are no presents or religious rituals, just a gigantic feast.  My wife and I host her family each year, and we enjoy going all out.  I still remember a Thanksgiving four years ago when we prepared the meal for like four days, and the finished product was so absolutely amazing that we dove into the food and wiped it out in about ten minutes in an extreme act of decadence.  It was perhaps the greatest food-related moment in my life, and it was followed by days of eating amazing leftovers.  Holidays should be simple, and they don't get simpler than Thanksgiving.

Raking Leaves

Now that I am a homeowner each season brings its own yard work, be it shoveling snow or mowing the lawn.  I by far prefer raking leaves.  All mindless yard work has a certain appeal to me, since it usually allows me time to think and reflect, which is so rare for me these days.  Raking leaves is also something that my daughters can take part in, which makes the process that much more fun.

Why Late Winter is The Worst

The older I get, the more seasonal patterns become obvious to me.  With each year that goes by, the same familiar emotions repeat themselves during the same times of the year.  In my thirty-seven trips around the sun, I have now surmised that late winter is the absolute nadir of the calendar.  This year, as in all other late winters, I have fallen ill, and not just for a couple of days.  I have spent the last three weeks feeling like crap, but just well enough to have to go to work and endure the daily grind at diminished strength.  After months of cold without sunlight, I feel drained and depressed.  My patience is worn and my temper is short, even with the ones I love.

I define late winter as the time between Valentine's Day and the beginning of the NCAA basketball tournament.  (I find the latter to just as much a sign of the onset of spring as the equinox.)  Late winter never fails to be interminably wretched.  In late winter, sickness stalks the land, coughs are its soundtrack. It is also a time of year full of great psychological stress and emotional strain.  At this point, the body's ability to handle the cold and dark of winter begins to break.  Just when the sun starts getting up early again, daylight savings time comes back, and I lose an hour of sleep at a time when I need it most.

Even things that normally bring joy are absent or awful.  In terms of sports, football is over, baseball has yet to begin, and hockey and basketball are still far from the playoffs.  The holidays (Valentine's and St. Patrick's Day) are the absolute worst.  The former is a manufactured event meant to sell greeting cards via guilt and treacly sentiment, and the latter is a drunken, insulting parody of Irish culture.  Growing up a devout Catholic, this time of year always coincided with Lent, which meant that in addition to all the usual late winter crap, I was forced to deprive myself of something I liked in order to atone for my sins.

I propose that we make a new holiday out of an old one: the spring equinox.  Even if winter has not finally been banished, we should have great feasts and jubilations, to welcome the sun's presence.  We should get together with family and friends, and celebrate making it through such a treacherous, difficult time of the year.  We shall toast, enjoy each other's company, and look forward to the warm months ahead.  Who's with me?