Disco Musicals: The Ultimate So Bad It's Good Genre

I am a sucker for what the hosts of The Flop House podcast call "good-bad movies." These are movies whose badness is so unique and fascinating that they elevate themselves into a realm of awful genius. No genre of film has produced a higher rate of good-bad movies than disco musicals. They were are sort of perfect for the role, combining the cashing in on a played out cultural trend, the interestingly wretched fashion of the period from 1978 to 1980, and a music genre that could produce maximum cheesiness.  If you, like me, enjoy these kinds of movies, I'd recommend all of them on the following list.

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

This is a film so transcendently bad that it prompted me to write a long blog post just to be able to process it. It stars the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton as the make-believe group from the famous Beatles album and perhaps the most asinine plot ever put on film.  Words cannot do justice to this. The brothers Gibb appear at the height of their disco period, and many of the songs get a disco-makeover. At the very end of the film a bunch of B and C-list celebrities do some terrible disco dance moves as the reprise of the title song. The YouTube video has been taken down, likely due to extreme embarrassment on the part of one of the participants. Here's what I said about it after my first viewing:

"At this point I didn't think the film could possibly go any lower or be any more ridiculous, but boy, was I wrong! It ends with a bunch of mid-level 70s celebrities singing the reprise of the title song, making poorly choreographed disco-by-numbers moves in the process. For some reason the camera keeps finding Carol Channing, whose eerie grin unfortunately distracts from a young Tina Turner standing right beside her. Many of the assembled celebs look bored, stoned, hungover, or all three. The hokey dancing, awful wardrobes, shaggy haircuts, and complete lack of taste on display manage to encapsulate all that was wrong about the 70s and put it into one coke-addled package.

When I finished watching Pepper, I then realized its disturbing implications. Is it actually so bad that it is beyond bad? That made me wonder if there is anything in the world that is as good as Pepper is bad. Can evil in fact sink deeper than virtue can soar high? Furthermore, does a truly horrible piece of culture leave a more lasting imprint on my psyche than a sublime one? Or is something this bad sublime in its own way? Needless to say, I think I'll have to see it again."

Xanadu

At least the Sgt Pepper film came out right when the Bee Gees were standing on top of the world (although the film would help knock them from their perch.) Xanadu came out in 1980, right as disco was playing itself out. It starred Olivia Newton-John, fresh off of Grease and at that time both a hit maker and object of desire.  The theme song was written by Electric Light Orchestra, still riding high on a wave of prog meets soft rock hits.  Xanadu could've been a contender, but like the other disco musicals, the writing is just downright awful.  Michael Beck, who had just played badass Swan the gang leader in The Warriors the year before, stars as a struggling artist who meets a muse, played by Newton-John. Disco and Greek mythology ensue. The plot has something to do with a nightclub called Xanadu, and Gene Kelly appears to boot, in what would be his last film.  I get the sad feeling that this one broke him.  There isn't just disco, but ROLLER DISCO here, people.  The theme song is actually pretty good as this style of music goes, and Newton-John is as appealing as always. The problem is, the song comes at the end, after the viewers have already longed for the sweet release of death to get them away from the film. The dance scenes in parts look more like an industrial film than Busby Berkley.  But hey, there's so much light-hearted cheese here that someone recently made this into an ironically bad musical and it was a Broadway hit.

The Apple

Also from 1980, The Apple truly one of those movies that has to be seen to be believed. I learned of it through the stellar Electric Boogaloo doc about Cannon Films. This musical was intended by Cannon impressario Menachem Golan to be his magnum opus and entree into Hollywood success. Instead, it was so bad that the premiere audience started throwing promotional copies of the soundtrack at the screen. The premise is so insanely awful that I feel like I lose IQ points just trying to type it. It is 1994, and an authoritarian regime keeps the masses in line through pop music and enforced dancing. A cute folk-singing couple are tempted to take the "apple" of fame in one of many convoluted Biblical metaphors. (In case this is all too hard to grasp, you can watch one of the tempters in a loincloth holding a giant apple.)  They eventually flee to a hippie commune and when the evil music exec/dictator/Satan named "Boogalow" comes to get them, they are Raptured as God appears in a translucent Rolls Royce. No, I am not kidding. Before we get there we witness the musical number for "Coming For You" (featured above), a piece of Donna Summer knock-off disco and the least veiled metaphor ever in the history of pop music. (The MPAA had to be asleep at the switch to give this one a PG rating.)

Can't Stop The Music

Just when you thought 1980 couldn't have been more saturated with bad disco musicals comes Can't Stop The Music, starring Steve Guttenberg and the Village People. It starts with Guttenberg on roller skates wearing flared trousers and an Izod shirt, and only gets worse/better from there. My favorite thing about the trailer is that it proclaims this will be "the movie that launches the 80s." Instead it feels like the last groaning gasp of the 70s, a decade now totally exhausted, its polyester torn and frayed. Don't believe me? Just take a look at the "Milkshake" number in the trailer. The Village People themselves had already reached their very short expiration date, I am sure no one in the film thought that Steve Guttenberg would emerge as the one star from this piece of dreck.

Billboard Top Ten March 10, 1979

[The newest post in my continuing series of looking at what was in the top ten in times past during the same week.]

So far we've been looking at 80s top tens, let's dip back a little bit into the 70s, shall we?

10. Dire Straits "The Sultans Of Swing"

Before Dire Straits started rocking sweatbands and getting money for nothing and chicks for free, they managed to update blues rock for a post-New Wave world.  This song shows off the beauty of Mark Knopfler's guitar tone, which can cut through the pedestrian lyrics and flat singing.  This is by far the best thing the band did, and they never equaled it, despite having songs that were more popular.

9.  YMCA "The Village People"

The song that launched a million grandmas to hit the dance floor at Midwestern weddings.  This song may be played today than any more on the countdown, primarily at sporting events.  The music itself is B-grade disco, but the fact that it hides a subversive message of cruising for guys at the Y in an ostensibly family fun song deserves to be saluted.

8. The Doobie Brothers "What A Fool Believes"

Ah, the first true Yacht Rock crossover song.  The Doobies had been around for awhile, putting out rootsy rock with some rhythm behind it.  Then came the late 70s and the entrance of Michael McDonald, whose voice practically defined Top 40 in the 1979-1981 period.  That voice is almost indescribable, as powerful as it is uncannily off-putting.  (And not necessarily in a good way.)  The segue into the "wise man has the power" falsetto is pure pop magic, though.  It's also noteworthy that Kenny Loggins, whose smooth sounds were also of the moment, co-wrote the song.  Notice as well the airy synthesizers, a sign of the decade to come.

7. Peaches and Herb "Shake Your Groove Thing"

This song is what I love about late period disco music.  It is silly and frivolous but also fun and funky. All these years later it still gets them out on the floor.

6. Olivia Newton-John "A Little More Love"

People easily forget just how huge Olivia Newton-John was between 1978 and 1981.  Sure, between her twin peaks of Grease and "Physical" she appeared in Xanadu, but it was hardly a career-killer.  She had that wispy blonde look that was so of the moment, and a gentle voice that was both homey and sexy. This song has kind of a gritty vibe to it, the guitars glitzy yet rough.  Unfortunately, it's a bit clunky, which is why it's one of those hits that never made it into the oldies pantheon.

5. Donna Summer (with Brooklyn Dreams) "Heaven Knows"

Donna Summer too was "hot stuff" in the late 70s, but this is not one of her iconic tracks.  Unlike her collaborations with Giorgio Moroder, this is disco by numbers, except for the sparkling synthesizer on the bridge.  This song might as well be Exhibit A in the decline of disco from the perfect dance music to manufactured pablum.  Fun fact, the male singer is Joe "Bean" Esposito, the guy responsible for "You're The Best" from The Karate Kid, one of the all time great 80s hype songs.

4. The Pointer Sisters "Fire"

This song in a lot of ways is a sign of things to come. It isn't disco, and it combines R&B with rock, a formula that would yield a big bonanza in the 80s.  In fact, it even has a little bit of a country feel to it.  The reverby guitars remind me of the decade to come as well, but without the overdone production.  Man this is a great little song.

3. The Bee Gees "Tragedy"

The Bee Gees ruled the late 70s after their contributions to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, managing to weld their unique voices to some great disco tracks laid down by Miami-area R&B vets.  What they did afterward has been lost in the mists of time.  Their follow-up, Spirits Having Flown spawned some hits, but those songs never seemed to having staying power in the pop cultural memory. "Tragedy" is a case in point.  It hit near the top of the charts during Bee Geemania, but has basically been forgotten.  It's an odd song, sounding like minor-key ABBA with a dash of early 80s dance music.  If they hadn't been so popular at the time, I doubt this would've been a hit (and I say that as someone unafraid to profess his love of the Bee Gees.)

2. Rod Stewart "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy"

This song is Exhibit B in disco jumping the shark.  It was a music form song so dominant that rockers like Stewart got into the act, hoping to cash in.  This song also embodies the transformation of the sexual revolution from free love in the 60s into soulless pleasure-seeking in the 70s.  Above all, it shows the sad depths that Rod Stewart had sunk to in the late 70s.  He began the decade with an amazing run in the Faces and a quartet of fantastic solo records.  At some point he decided to sell his soul for fame and fortune, scoring hits with crap like this, which can't hold a candle to the likes of "Stay With Me."

1. Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"

Now this right here is a number one song, people. I still remember when the alternative rock band Cake put out a cover of this in the mid-90s and people thought it was a joke, and the band quickly shot that accusation down.  They understood the emotional power of this song, perhaps the most iconic song about being jilted ever written.  It's different because it is defiant.  The singer gets over her feelings of loss and demands that her former lover's ghost never haunt her anymore.  The music itself is not remarkable, but Gloria Gaynor sings the everloving shit out of this song and imbues it with much more meaning than it has any right to have.  It will live forever.

Donna Summer "I Feel Love"

Donna Summer and Giorgio Moroder, one of the great singer/producer teams of all time

I still remember hearing "I Feel Love" for the first time and thinking "what is THIS?"  It happened in the late 90s, when I was beginning to develop of love of disco and to drop my former elevated disdain of pop music.  I knew in my mind that this song was from the late 70s, but it sounded like it came from the future.  It announces itself with a flourish of synthesizer that fades in like a UFO dropping below the clouds, then the endless wave of percussive synthesizer notes carries the song along at a rapid pace.  The strings, horns, piano, and other lavish disco disco trappings are completely absent here, and all that is left is a disarming, spare, crystalline beauty.  This song does not conjure up leisure suits or line dances.  No, it makes me think of a rocket ship hurtling through space.

The revolutionary backing tracks are the work of Giorgio Moroder, but they would not have worked without the voice of Donna Summer.  She sang sensually and openly desirous of sex in ways that other women with her level of popularity never did before.  "Love To Love You Baby" put her on the map with its lascivious moaning, and her biggest album was called Bad Girls. Disco was music for the pleasure centers and the soundtrack to nights of wild 70s excess, and Summer channeled that spirit as a disco singer better than anyone else.  Pairing dance music with a boundary-breaking diva has now become formulaic, and Madonna, Britney Spears, and Katy Perry all owe Donna Summer big time.

One thing I truly love about this song is how it is the beginning of the electronic dance music genre, but manages to sound more futuristic than a lot of EDM that's produced nowadays.  Sequencers can make music sound rigid, robotic, and when ill-used, plain boring.  The early, antiquated technology used by Moroder have a trace of organic feeling to them, making the song seem so much more alive.  Synthesizers can sound like musical wallpaper much of the time these days, but the glorious Moog of the 70s is capable of making some truly unique sounds.  It is a device that rewards dial-twisting and experimentation, and in it you hear not just the machine, but the spark of human inspiration.

This all comes together in my favorite moment of the song.  After the musical intro and some low-key cooing by Summer she increases the volume of her voice and sings out "I feel love!" just as the Moog hits a higher, sweeter note like a sunrise breaking over the mountains.  It is glorious, almost holy, and one of my favorite musical moments.