What If...A Foreign Correspondent Sent A Dispatch From DC?

American In Turmoil After a Week of Unrest

Washington) Turmoil in the capital city today after violent crackdowns by local security forces. The president ordered protestors near the palace tear gassed so he could take his picture with a sacred text outside of a nearby house of worship. Palace watchers assume this was done as a gesture to his supporters, who tend to cling tighter to traditional culture.

The president has also ordered the mobilization of the military against the people in the streets by invoking a 200 year old law written to quell slave uprisings. No word yet on whether generals will comply with the directive. Cities in the provinces continue to experience unrest, and journalists have been assaulted by government forces. As of yet there has been no government takeover of the radio and television airwaves but state-aligned cable networks have been reporting praise for the president's behavior.

The governing party still stands behind the president, and as of yet there are no calls for abdication by opposition leaders. The opposition had failed to remove the leader through legal proceedings earlier in the year. Despite several accusations of abuse of power and corruption, these legal proceedings failed due to obstruction by the governing party.

The president has long been unpopular, and he received three million fewer votes in the last election than his opponent. The United States, however, chooses its president based on an antiquated and complicated formula that allows for minority rule. Recent government inaction in the face of pandemic has exacerbated the tensions caused by having a leader without the support of the people.

Provincial governors and mayors have set down curfews that protestors have openly defied. The American state is currently teetering on the brink, but no definite end to the crisis is in sight. 

What If...Bedford Falls Was A Real Town?

[Editor's Note: It's A Wonderful Life is a holiday classic that also contains a critique of capitalism. But what if Bedford Falls was a real place? What would it look like today?]

BEDFORD FALLS TODAY (NOT SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE)

BEDFORD FALLS, NEW YORK) Seventy-three years ago Bedford Falls became famous as the hometown of George Bailey, hero of It's A Wonderful Life. A lot has changed in this small town in upstate New York since that time.

Most notably, the Building and Loan run by the Bailey family no longer exists. Like other such institutions it went under during the savings and loans crisis of the 1980s. During the 1970s George Bailey passed the business down to his children, who took advantage of Reagan-era deregulation to engage in real estate speculation. The town's economy was not strong enough to support such risky investments, a familiar story across the country.

The Building and Loan's fate was mirrored by that of the local mill, which shut its doors in the 1990s after years of downsizing and layoffs. With the decline of local manufacturing the job opportunities available to residents of the town drastically decreased. Nowadays young people who get an education do not even have the option of choosing to stay home like George Bailey did. There simply is no work requiring their degrees. Those people end up in bigger cities in the region, often with fond memories of a place they are estranged from out of necessity, rather than choice. Those who lack education have few options in Bedford Falls as well, and what jobs do exist are mostly minimum wage work in the service sector.

Todd Bishop, whose grandfather was famed local cabbie Ernie Bishop, said "I drive Uber but there's not much business in a town this poor. Mostly getting drunk people home from bars. Apart from that I work part-time at the local gas station."

The once glittering main street has gone dark, with many storefronts having been empty for decades. Gower's Drugstore became a pawnshop before closing for good ten years ago. An empty home like the one the Bailey family took over has gone from being a rare oddity to a typical sight. The one advantage to living in Bedford Falls is the low cost of home ownership due to depopulation.

The land downtown has been passed down from Henry Potter -George Bailey's economic rival- to his descendants. All but one live outside Bedford Falls, most having moved to the New York City area. These absentee landlords see their holdings more as an heirloom or tax write-off than a viable business commodity. The one exception is Jacob Potter, a twenty-something descendent of Henry who has started a microbrewery and axe throwing club in one of the downtown buildings.

The commercial center began shifting to the highway on the edge of town in the 1980s, but the closing of the mill has meant even the absence of big box stores like Wal-Mart. Dollar stores are the only retail left in Bedford Falls. For anything else residents have to drive several miles to either Rochester or Syracuse. The one industry doing well in the region is the medical industry, which makes money from an aging population and a spike in opioid addiction.

George Bailey Jr still lives in his family's old Victorian home in Bedford Falls, even after the Savings and Loan debacle. "I know my father did a lot for this town, but keeping a town afloat isn't a one person job. An individual can't hold back a tidal wave. I have no doubt he made a difference, but I am almost glad he died thirty years ago so he didn't have to see what's happened."

What If?...Trump's America in 2018

Washington DC
July 4, 2018
BBC

For the fifth straight day President Trump has not appeared in public. The president was absent from all July 4th celebrations today, including public floggings of those accused of flag burning, a popular event for tourists on the National Mall and an event where Trump usually gets the crowd fired up in advance. Today those flogged had already been stripped of their citizenship by the National Tribunal, and are slated to be sent to the newly expanded prison at Guantanamo Bay. This time around the crowd was treated to a speech by Sean Hannity, the Director of National Morale.

There are a variety of theories as to the president’s situation, none of them confirmed as of yet. Because the White House press office was dissolved in 2017, it is very difficult for the BBC to get any clear word on what is happening. The president is still tweeting, but his recent tweets have been notably articulate and even-tempered, stoking speculation that one of his handlers is speaking in his name.

Rumors have abounded over the past week in Washington. Some speculate that the president was secretly taken to the Presidential Tower (formerly Trump Tower) in the dead of night. Others speculate that he has had a stroke or heart attack, and the president’s haggard appearance when he presided over the new National Beauty Contest last month has only fueled those rumors. Up to this point in his presidency Trump has been notably absent from public, usually only seen out of his residences when attending beauty pageants, his many rallies, or public floggings and executions. His presence has mostly been through Twitter and television, where his reality show about his cabinet has been a roaring success. Ratings were highest when he told Elaine Chao last week "You're fired."

Press secretary Laura Ingraham has refused to speak to reporters on the issue, only adding to the sense of confusion. Some speculate that Ivanka Trump will address the nation early next week on her father’s behalf.

What If? Trump's America In 2017

Trump Possibly Secures Presidency In Unprecedented Scenes In Washington

January 4, 2017
(BBC)

America has had contested election results before, in both 1876 and 2000, but nothing like in 2016.  As in both of those elections, the Republican candidate lost the popular vote, but ended up winning the election, and in both cases it was had to be decided outside of the voters or Congress.

It was clear on election night that Trump did not have a majority of popular votes. Voters in populous blue states like California and Trump's native New York made sure of that.  However, the electoral vote came down to a small number of swing states.  Controversial voter ID laws in several states, including Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Wisconsin, Missouri, and Florida, were credited for Trump's victories there. In Ohio lines to vote in many urban areas lasted eight hours. In many areas voters complained of harassment by the Real Americans, a pro-Trump militia formed after an assassination attempt on the candidate in September. (His opponents called it a staged ploy, and the circumstances are still murky.)  Some precincts in Florida supposedly had their ballot boxes stuffed by Real American operatives, but Florida governor Rick Scott has refused to investigate.  Similarly, the North Carolina state government has refused to look into allegations of voter intimidation.

The Clinton campaign contested the results in several states. Attempting to sort it out, the Supreme Court met at the end of December, but deadlocked on a 4-4 decision, owing to the fact that Republicans in Congress have still not approved an Obama administration nominee. For over a week the capital stood in a state of suspended animation. Finally, this morning a brigade of Real Americans, escorted by members of the armed forces, marched on and occupied that capitol while Congress was debating possible solutions to the electoral impasse.

Democrats and anti-Trump Republicans are reported to have been taken to an undisclosed location.  A certain Colonel Pride of the marines has reportedly called Congress back into session, with the new rump Congress approving a hastily drawn up resolution calling for Trump to be installed as the next president of the United States.  There is still no word as to whether these soldiers had orders from higher up on the chain of command.  There has also been no word from President Obama, who has been away from Washington at Camp David. Speculation is rising that he has been put under detention by military authorities, but there still has been no firm word yet.

Neither Trump nor his representatives has yet said anything, but reliable sources report that he has left his Florida home and will soon be flying to Washington this evening, where Real Americans have planned a torchlit parade down the National Mall. Anonymous sources in the Clinton camp acknowledge that the former Secretary of State may be contemplating self-imposed exile.  At this hour there is a state of confusion in the capital, where tanks and armed guards have been appearing on the streets.

What If? (Trump's America On Inauguration Day)

BBC) Today's presidential inauguration was perhaps the most surreal in American History.  Donald Trump gave the first off-the-cuff inaugural address, rambling for two hours with some heightened moments interspersed.  At one point he asked those present to raise their right hands and pledge to loyally carry out his agenda, then led those present in a chant of "USA! USA! USA!"

A large number of the raucous crowd are members of the Real Americans, the controversial group of red-capped Trump supporters accused of harassing racial minorities at several polling stations across the country on election day.  These actions led to several lawsuits in many different states, but a deadlocked Supreme Court, still with only eight members after months of Republican filibustering, was unable to to intervene.

Trump also broke with the typical decorum of the occasion to assail Barrack Obama as a "loser" as he was sitting just a few feet behind him.  The crowd roared its approval as the now former president tried to keep his composure. Sources say that Obama is considering living in seclusion in Hawaii after a raft of death threats and Trump signaling that he might block Secret Service protection for Obama once he is no longer president. He has also promised a criminal investigation of the Obama administration in regards to the Benghazi attack in 2012, promising his supporters to put the former president behind bars.

There was little of substance in Trump's inaugural remarks.  He repeated himself a lot, saying the phrase "make American great again" more than 30 times.  He also bragged extensively about the inaugural ball, saying multiple times that it would be "huge" and "classy."  The ball has already attracted criticism for the giant gold-embossed "Trump" sign placed on the White House for occasion.  Some inside sources claim that the president wants to make the sign permanent.

While some protestors had planned to line the parade route from the Capitol to the White House, gangs of Real Americans armed with bats and clubs set themselves upon those protestors brave enough to show up, all while the DC police looked on.  Many have claimed Trump's promise to support the nation's police forces by calling off all Justice Department investigations into police brutality has emboldened local police forces to tacitly support violence carried out by Real Americans across the country.

The inauguration also saw a new feature, a torchlit parade at night led by members of the Real Americans. The participants were extremely enthusiastic. Tom Hickenlooper of Flower Mound, Mississippi said "This is the greatest moment of my life, and I am a father of three!" Grace Benedict of Mount Vernon, Illinois, proclaimed "Trump is going to clean this country up once and for all!" Joe Hess of Fort Smith, Arkansas, yelled out "Today America, tomorrow the world!" several times to lusty cheers by his compatriots.

What If? (Trump's America 2019)

BBC News) Today marks the third anniversary of an important day in the ascendancy of president Donald Trump.  In February of 2016 vice president Christie, while he was still governor of New Jersey, endorsed Trump, making him the first established Republican to do so.  This endorsement laid the groundwork for other prominent Republicans to be willing to throw their support behind Trump, and for the party machinery to assist him in his election victory.  This support was especially crucial after the 2016 election ended without Trump, Hilary Clinton, or third party candidate Michael Bloomberg getting a majority of the electoral vote.  Although Trump did not get a plurality, trailing Clinton, House Republicans threw the balance to his side.

It has been impossible for the BBC to talk to Trump or Christie to discuss this anniversary, since only journalists vetted by Secretary of Information Scarborough are allowed access to the president.  Other outlets, such as the New York Times, have not been so lucky.  A libel lawsuit conducted under new laws formulated by Trump has left that newspaper bankrupt and unable to operate.  Because the United Kingdom has not remained allied with the United States in Trump's recent military interventions, the BBC too has been threatened with lawsuits by the Trump government.

With American armed forces currently deployed in the oil fields of Iraq and on the Mexican side of the border with the United States, Trump has been restricting the media even more on the grounds of protecting the nation in a time of war.  Just last week he sent the American army over the Rio Grande, where maquiladoras (Mexican factories on the border) have been forcibly shut down after the Mexican government refused to pay for the wall Trump is currently building. Sources in the US military also say that the maquiladoras may be burned down, or failing that, turned into dumping grounds for the millions of undocumented immigrants that are currently being held in makeshift internment camps in the Nevada and Utah deserts.

After what some insiders call a plastic surgery operation gone wrong, Trump has not appeared in public for the past four days.  Rumors about the leader's ill health, combined with unrest over the policies of mass deportation and invasion, have led some to think that a palace coup may be in the offing. The suspension of Congressional elections in 2018 after armed skirmishes broke out between federal agents carrying out deportation orders and undocumented workers in several immigrant neighborhoods was seen as a step too far by some powerful Republicans.  Others see a potential power grab by vice president Chris Christie, information minister Joe Scarborough, secretary of the interior Sarah Palin, or even chief justice Andrew Napolitano.  Fox News, now the de facto government organ, has been showing nothing but reruns of Trump campaign rallies from 2016 and reruns of The Apprentice, leading some to wonder if his death is imminent.  Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch have both refused to comment.

What If America Had Proportional Representation?

Back in the 1990s, when I first reached voting age, I voted for Democrats but never saw myself as one. I thought then, and still believe, that the Clinton administration actually did net harm to the poor, working, and middle class.  For that reason I voted third party for president in 1996 and 2000.  The one tangible domestic policy goal that Clinton accomplished was deficit reduction, and his successor wiped out that effort by giving away the money saved to the wealthy via tax cuts.  The Bush administration scared me so thoroughly that I actually began to identify with the Democrats, but their performance in power over the past few years has changed my mind.  Teachers organize on their behalf, and are repaid with a hostile "reform" agenda.  Latinos come out to vote for Obama in record numbers, and he refuses to push immigration reform forward.  Meanwhile, Republicans keep winning, but the GOP has been taken over by whacko ideologues to the point that many less insane members of the rank and file are a little embarrassed over their affiliation.  In general, it seems like conservative Republicans are the only group of people who have a party that consistently represents and fights for their beliefs.

This has got me thinking about something I've contemplated for a long time: proportional representation.  Americans like to brag on their Constitution, but it is actually a musty, out of date system that other nations have surpassed in the intervening decades.  The first past the post electoral scheme and two-party system both choke off a multiplicity of voices.  The result is plain to see in states like Texas, which is actually politically diverse, but is almost completely dominated at all levels by rabid conservatives.  I would estimate that about 45% of Texans effectively have no voice whatsoever at the state level.  Proportional representation is a more democratic system because it give those not in the majority actual representation.  If America had a system like Germany's, where every party netting more than 5% of the vote gets representation (both in state legislatures and in Congress), I would be willing to bet that more people would get their voices heard.  More varied ideas and policy proposals would be aired.  Proportional representation also rarely results in absolute majorities, and thus forces compromises by its very nature.

Of course, such a system will never come to be in America, so this is more of a parlor game than anything else.  It would also make sense to scrap equal state representation in the Senate, where Wyoming has the same level of power as states with many times its population, like California and Texas.  Getting rid of the Senate filibuster and its arcane rules would help, too.  Hell, while we're at it, dumping the Senate completely might be a good idea, but that's another conversation for another time.  In any case, here's some aimlessly fun speculation about what parties America would have under a proportional system:

The Left Party: This party would be a bonafide Leftist, openly socialistic party, although it would have trouble getting five percent of the vote.

The Progressive Party: This party would be made up of liberals and progressives, what now is the progressive and unheeded wing of the Democratic party.  It would never get the most votes, but would actually ensure progressive policies would be an active force.

The Democratic Party: Under a proportional system the Democrats could openly be what they effectively are already: a centrist party in a country with very little center.  They would also be so loathe to make a coalition with Progressives that they would prefer the Free Market Party as a partner.

The Free Market Party: This party would be the home of business interests and run of the mill libertarians.  Its focus would be on promoting capitalism, with little to no opposition in the ranks to things like gay marriage and abortion.

The Party of God: This would be a Christian identity party devoted to an explicitly dominionist policy of bringing about God's kingdom on earth.  No longer tied together by Republican loyalties, the Free Market Party would keep its distance, except in the rare cases that it couldn't form a coalition without it.

The America Party: This nationalist party would be based around nativism, guns, and anti-government paranoia.  It would be especially strong the West and South, and a perennial threat to the vote counts of the Free Market Party.  It would also rarely enter into a coalition with any other party, on general principles.

***

Then again, maybe I don't want a proportional representation system, since I would bet it would mean perpetual coalition governments run by the Free Market Party and the Democrats.  Only capitalists and fatuous centrists would run things, which isn't all that different from now.

What If: Texas Actually Seceded?

[Editor's Note: During my time in Texas, I was preplexed that such an interesting state of made up of a mix of diverse cultures and regions also sustained such a wide streak of parochial, Bible-thumping authoritarian politics. As most of y'all must know, Governor Rick "Goodhair" Perry made a career out of attacking the federal government, and has even made noise about possible secession. Now it seems that there is a petition with tens of thousands of signatures calling for secession.  In the highly unlikely event that Texas would in fact secede, I anticipate that the troops stationed at Fort Hood would very quickly march on Austin, declare marital law, and take the secessionist nimrods into custody. Still, I write these what ifs to examine how the improbable offers a persepective on our reality, so enjoy.]

Texas Secession: Ten Years On

November 14, 2023

AP) Today marks the tenth anniversary of the declaration of the Republic of Texas, which took place in 2013 after Barack Obama was inaugurated for his second term and did not accept Texas' ultinatum-backed demand that he step aside. This week happens to mark more than an anniversary for the fledgling state; on Sunday Sally Davis of Tyler became the three millionth Texan to flee across the Red River into the United States since independence.

That massive outflux of citizens well reflects the economic problems that have bedeviled Texas in the last decade. Before secession, Texas did a very poor job of educating its populace, possessing the lowest percentage of adults with high school diplomas of any state in America, while supporting a small number of research universities for a state with its large population. During those years, Texas made up for this neglect by drawing in educated people from other states who now do not want to live in a foreign nation. Texas' oil economy has also taken a hit because without many of its strongest boosters in Congress energy reform has passed and renewable sources of energy have allowed the American government to place a ban on the purchase of foreign oil. After eliminating the minimum wage and prohibiting labor unions as impositions on "economic freedom," the poor and working class of Texas went from living in a bad situation to an impossible one.

Other laws have also been blamed for economic problems. After Texas Rangers "secured the border" by shooting several would be immigrants and the state deported all those born outside of the old 50 states, whether they had emigrated to American legally or not, several sectors of the economy have been severely harmed, especially agriculture and construction. On a more private level, many Texans now grumble about having to brave the country's infamous summer heat and mow their own lawns. Austin, once famous both for its vibrant music scene and high tech economy, now looks like a ghost town. Musicians and other artists fled to America and greater artistic freedom, and the high tech economy could not function with many of its workers deported while others, who mostly did not hail from Texas, feared permanent separation from their families.

In fact, a large number of those who had once moved to Texas for greater opportunity are now fleeing. They tend to be better educated and more economically valuable than the average native born Texan, and their loss has led to much discussion of a "brain drain" in the Republic. That crisis has been worsened by the new policies towards the universities formulated by a panel dominated by Christian conservatives. Once history professors were told that they had to teach students that American was a "Christian nation" and the separation of church was a "myth," and biology professors were forced to "teach the controversy" over evolution, many academics decided to pick up and leave. Those who remain live under the constant fear of losing their jobs if a student reports any deviation from the state-mandated standards. One history professor, James McCann, was recently fired by Texas Northern University after he taught the Constitution without any reference to Thomas Aquinas or John Calvin.

Those Texans who have stayed now face several mounting problems. Since the Republic repealed all environmental legislation, drinking water has become dangerously unpalatable in many localities and the numbers of birth defects have risen steeply. After the Republic repealed all property taxes state services, including education, have been horribly underfunded, with some schools operating only five months out of the year. Under the advice of Secretary of the Treasury Ron Paul, Texas pegged its money to the gold standard, which has resulted in a stagnant, cash starved economy. The Republic has also come close to war with the United States over claims related to Texas' 1836 borders.

Many Texans I talked to expressed the desire to emigrate, but others defiantly supported secession and President Perry. As Bobby Cummings of Longview told me, "We managed to run those eggheaded liberals out, and now I can carry my concealed handgun anywhere, including into the state capitol building. I call that a win-win."

Texas' secession has also had a profound effect on the United States. Since America has reduced its dependence on oil, the economic costs of losing Texas have actually been rather meager. With a large number of the most conservative voices in Congress absent, and a large chunk of reliably Republican electoral votes neutralized, the Democratic party has dominated national politics. Since secession meaningful financial and energy reform has been passed that might have been impossible beforehand. Subtler changes have occured as well. Without Texas' disproportiante influence over their content, history and biology textbooks now reflect much better the scholarly consensus in their respective fields.

For these reasons, former president Barack Obama's decision to let Texas go without a fight now appears to have paid off. At the time he faced little opposition from the now weakened Republicans, who adamantly defended "states rights," to their immense detriment. Much to the surprise of most observers, there is almost zero popular support within the United States for an effort to reintegrate Texas into the Union. Now it appears that the secessionists should have heeded the old adage about being careful for what they wished for.

What If...Barack Obama Acted Like Mitt Romney on a Foreign Trip?

Introduction: Mitt Romney is currently traveling abroad, and has so far managed to offend his British hosts with his comments on the London Olympics, and soon after arriving in Israel, insulted Palestinians for good measure, too.  Three other aspects of his trip are getting less press but are notable: he has been engaging in major fund raisers while traveling abroad, he has essentially said that if he were president he would subsume American foreign policy to Israeli wishes, and he has praised Israel's health care system as superior to that of the United States.  I think that the lack of broad comment on these things puzzling, since the president is being accused of being "anti-American" by his opponents, but here you have his adversary dissing the United States while in a foreign location, and openly begging for money from people who do not live in the United States.  I get the feeling that there would be a quite a firestorm if Barack Obama did these same things.  Since counterfactuals are always fun, I've envisioned here what the reaction would be like.

*WHOOSHING OVERDRAMATIC MUSIC*

Hannity: Welcome back to Hannity, ladies and gentlemen.  As you may have heard, Barack Obama's hatred for America reared its head yet again this week during his foreign trip.  While visiting Europe, he held multiple fundraisers with people who are technically American citizens, but who have not been living in this country for years.  As if that's not enough, while he was in France, Obama praised its socialized healthcare system during one of these fundraisers.  To talk about this, we have Jerome Corsi, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly here with us tonight.  Hello gentlemen.

Corsi, Limbaugh, and O'Reilly: Hello Sean

Hannity: What do you make of these actions by the president?

Limbaugh: For years the liberals have been whining, as they always do, that when we call Obama "anti-American" that's racism, since you know to liberals you can never criticize a black person without being a racist.  Well now it's obvious that this man hates America, something he learned from his Kenyan father.  We have the best healthcare system in the world, and yet he goes to France and tells them they're better than us.  This just goes to show that we are a nation under occupation by a foreign power.  He's also taking money from foreign sources.  I don't care if the contributors are American, I'm sure that's just a front so all of his socialist buddies in Europe can funnel money to him.

Hannity: Yes, I wonder where the FEC is in all of this.

O'Reilly: The Romney campaign has been sounding the alarm on Obama's anti-Americanism, I think they've been vindicated.  By going to a foreign nation and running down the United States, Obama is giving aid and comfort to our terrorist enemies.  Congress should draft articles of impeachment, and anyone who doesn't think so is willing to let a man who loves his foreign friends more than his own people.  I will apologize for being an idiot if he is not impeached.

Hannity: I can't think of another American political figure who has betrayed the nation like this, yet his allies on the left will just sit by and watch it happen.

Corsi: If I may cut in, I think Obama's actions reflect a foreign attitude and the inability to understand what it means to be an America.  It's high time we took another look at his birth certificate, since this seems to be the work of a foreign agent, not the president of the United States.  He is trying so hard to cover up his secret identity, but I think in his comments in France, which he thought would be private, Obama has let the mask drop a little bit.

Limbaugh: And if you can believe it, Obama's biggest contributor is a man who made his money from casinos in China.  I think we could be seeing a backdoor way for Red China to control the United States and turn it into something else.

Hannity: Well it looks like the president will be in a lot of hot water for so flagrantly disrespecting the country he is supposed to lead.  Next up on Hannity, we'll take a look at the president's gambling kingpin moneyman, and talk to Mike Huckabee about the connection between Obama's lack of values and support by those who profit from immoral activity like gambling.