The Academic Misery Index Quiz

A couple of years ago, when this blog had yet to find much of an audience beyond my friends, I put together something I called the Academic Misery Index Quiz.  It was a light-hearted way to present the question of whether one should stay in their academic position or try to get out of it, and I had a lot of fun putting it together.  Two years on, I know a lot more people who are doing the mental math and trying to figure out whether they ought to stick with the profession or not.  If possible, the level of academic misery has actually risen rapidly in the last two years, which makes me think an updated version of the quiz is necessary.  If you take the quiz, let me know what tweaks are still necessary.

Part One

Each "A"answer is worth zero points, each "B" answer one point, each "C" answer two points, and each "D" answer five points.

1. How would you describe your university?

A. A nationally recognized institution with a stellar reputation.

B. A solid school that's not quite the big time, but with plenty of name recognition.

C. A "first rate second rate" college/university with plenty of faults but a basic commitment to upholding the standards of the profession.

D. A dysfunctional, bottom-feeding fly-by-night operation so obscure that when you go to conferences and tell people where you're from, they give you a blank stare or judgemental glare.

2. How would you describe the students at your university?

A. They are self-motivated, mature adults with a love of learning.

B. They are smart yet entitled children of privilege who need some prodding.

C. They are middle of the road intellectually and see their classes with a mostly vocational understanding, i.e., "why do I have to take this class?"

D. They are barely literate and seem to have no clue whatsoever as to why they are in college in the first place. The few brain cells they have left after nightly games of beer pong are devoted to texting.

3. How would you describe the town where your university is located?

A. A world-class city brimming over with fine dining, cultural events, and like-minded individuals.

B. An idyllic college town with a relaxed atmosphere and lots of cultural amenities/good but not great city with plenty to do.

C. A non-college town, mid-sized city that's a little boring, but at least has all the stuff you need, and the occasional cultural event.

D. A backwoods 'burg lacking a decent sit-down restaurant where the locals actively resent the university community for making them look like the countrified rubes that they are.

4. What are the politics of your department like?

A. What politics? We all love each other and most of us are good friends.

B. There are minor disputes, and we aren't all that close, but mostly because we're too busy to fight.

C. The silverbacks and the young'uns clash from time to time, but mostly inside departmental and committee meetings. We all know the two people who hate each other's guts, but the rest of us stay out of that mess.

D. They make Renaissance Florence look like an eight year old girl's tea party. Long-held grudges, character assassination, and intentional sabotage are the norm.

5. How would you describe your chair?

A. A far-sighted leader who listens well and tirelessly strives to protect the best interests of the department.

B. A competent technocrat who gets the job done but lacks vision.  No real complaints.

C. A well-meaning buffoon who mostly tries to avoid doing work.

D. A malicious control-freak who plays favorites and considers any alternative viewpoint to be treason.

6. What is your institution doing with assessment?

A. What's assessment?

B. Writing the standard boilerplate to keep the accreditation people happy but little that faculty have to deal with.  

C. There's lots of pointless meetings and discussion and it's a big annoyance, but profs are not really told what to do in the classroom, and feel free to ignore the assessment regime's dictates.

D. Faculty have lost control over what material is taught in their courses and spend a great deal of their time filling out asinine forms and getting reprimanded for failing to follow hopelessly labrynthine policies to the letter.

7. What happens when you report a plagiarism case?

A. I have to hold back the chair and dean from nailing the student to a cross.

B. There's lots of paperwork and I am asked to give the student the benefit of the doubt, but if I want to punish a student, I am able to do it.

C. I am reluctant to push cases because I am usually asked to lessen my penalties.

D. The chair and other higher-ups immediately take the student's side, and get irritated with me for taking up their time.

8. How would you describe your university's priorities?

A. To achieve educational excellence and foster world-class scholarship.

B. To provide a quality education for its students and give some support to research.

C. Mostly football and manipulating the categories in the US News rankings.

D. To keep distracting outsiders from the fact that the place is a complete joke and ought to be shut down.

9. What's the financial outlook of your institution like?

A. We are a wealthy private school with a huge endowment that our regents swim in like Scrooge McDuck.

B. We have had to make some cutbacks in course offerings and travel budgets, but faculty have mostly been spared.

C. Our state government is run by anti-intellectual GOP blockheads who force us to make do with less with each passing year OR (if a private school) our endowment is weak but the school is above water. There's less money for research and few raises, but our jobs are relatively safe.

D. We have a psychotic governor hell-bent on destroying whole programs and firing tenured professors with budget cuts/we are a poor private school running on a showstring budget always begging alumni for money which is only barely keeping us afloat for just one more year.

10. When you talk to your faculty friends outside of class, what sentence are you most likely to utter or hear?

A. "Wasn't the pinot grigio at the faculty reception last night delightful?"

B. "With the cutbacks it looks like I won't be able to get the library to order all of the books on my list."

C. "I don't know how they expect me to teach more students with these increased tenure and service requirements."

D. "If I can't get a job somewhere else this year I will end up dying of alcohol poisoning."

11. How would you describe a typical departmental faculty meeting?

A. A welcome opportunity to get everyone together and be collegial.

B. A minor annoyance that is usually blessedly brief.

C. A prolonged, unorganized exercise in silverback resentment and junior scholar superkeenerism that rarely solves anything.

D. A horrifying parade of stupidity and malice so nerve-wracking that I have to take a xanax to be able to endure it without crying or running out screaming.

12. What is your school's attitude towards office hours?

A. We are supposed to hold them at some point, but I'm not sure when they are, exactly.

B. We have three mandated office hours, but it isn't much of a burden.

C. We have five office hours a week and are expected to keep our doors open at all times during them.

D. We have ten office hours a week, and the chair will call me at home if I happen to duck out five minutes early on a slow day.

13. How does your department handle academic advising?

A. Not sure, but I think we have peons for that.

B. A couple of poor saps do it as part of their service, but get a course reduction.

C. We all have to pitch in and do it, but at least we share the burden.

D. I am one of the people press-ganged into doing it without a course reduction, and typically have two weeks of my semester rendered unproductive by a constant stream of slackjawed idiots who want me to figure out their schedules for them.

14. How would you describe your dean?

A. A wonderfully engaging ally who is always willing to listen.

B. A careerist looking to climb the ladder to another school, but at least competent.

C. A meddling dolt who spends meetings mouthing every trendy administrative catchphrase, from "accountability" to "sustainability."

D. A ruthlessly authoritarian presence constantly forcing departments to conform to their vision of the university.

15. Which type of conversation among faculty are you most likely to hear as you pass down the hallway?

A. A witty and engaged discussion of the finer points of research and/or pedagogy.

B. The usual small talk.

C. Lots of complaining about the latest administrative initiative.

D. Resentful white men decrying their own supposed marginalization with plenty of borderline racist, sexist, and homophobic comments thrown in.

Part Two

These questions have more points at stake because they make the difference between a tolerable situation and soul-crushing anomie. Each "A" answer is worth 0 points, each "B" answer is worth five points, each "C" answer ten points and each "D" answer fifteen points.

1. Which best describes the kind of academic job that you currently have?

A. You possess the great golden ring of tenure.

B. A tenure track position with the tenure clock ticking away.

C. A "visitor" or lecturer position with limited appointment and substandard pay.

D. A temporary adjunct position with no security paid by the course.

2. How far away does your job force you to live from your significant other?

A. You get to live with your significant other.

B. You have to live in different towns, but are able to see each other on the weekend.

C. You live so far apart that you cannot see each other more than once a month.

D. You used to have a significant other until your forced separation destroyed your relationship/you are forced to live in such a benighted rural outpost that Ron Paul has a better chance of getting elected president than you do of finding a suitable partner.

3. When you show up at work on Monday morning, what statement best describes your thought process?

A. It's great to be back to doing the thing that I love.

B. This week will be good if I don't have any more bullshit excuses from my students and just plain bullshit from my administrators.

C. I'd like this job a lot more if I was on the tenure track.

D. How can I get to my office without crossing paths with the colleagues who make me want to stab myself with a dull butter knife?

Scoring:

After tallying up your scores, look the misery index below:

0-15 points: Shangri-La

Congratulations, you are living the academic dream! The next time you think about complaining about your job, please remember that you've got some serious First World Problems.

16-30 points: The Good Life

You have the right to the occasional gripe, but things are looking good. If you can avoid the tendency in this profession never to be satisfied, you'll have a happy and fulfilling time at your institution.

31-50 points: The Danger Zone

If you don't absolutely love academic work with all of your heart and soul, it might be time to explore other options.

50+ points: Soul-sucking Misery

Get the hell out while you are still young and relatively sane. If not you will end up like the senior colleagues you respect who always have looks of bemused sadness on their faces.

Other 47% Moments and Public Meltdowns

The recently revealed and formerly secret comments by Mitt Romney about the supposed 47% of "moochers" out there so dependent on government hand-outs that they would not dare vote for him is one of those great and rare moments when a liar and professional bullshitter gets caught revealing his true self.  The revelation of Romney's plutocratic leanings, unadulterated and uncut, has accelerated his campaign's meltdown.  This isn't the first time a public figure has embarrassed themselves by showing their true colors or just plain imploded, so here's a compilation of my favorite real and fictional meltdowns and 47% moments.

A Face in the Crowd
This is one of my favorite films, and stars an atypically malevolent Andy Griffith as Lonesome Rhodes, an itinerant, boozing guitar picker who gets catapulted to fame via television, where he morphs into a Glenn Beck-like reactionary messiah.  He uses downhome charm and aw shucks earthiness to conceal the fact that he's carrying water for wealthy reactionaries.  Rhodes is undone, however, when another character, so disgusted with his transformation, turns the mic on during the closing credits of his show as he denigrates his audience for being a bunch of easily lead, naive rubes.  Although Romney is about as folksy as a silver salad fork, he has tried to affect a concern for the little people that has been entirely debunked by his Mr. Burns-esque pronouncements.

Bill O'Reilly Wants to "Do It Live"

It's before his career at Fox News, but it's fun to watch this out-take of a preening prat who effects a tough-guy personae acting like a crying baby.

Lee Elia Rant
This doesn't quite count as a 47% moment, since Cubs manager Elia went on this tirade at a press conference in the early 1980s.  However, it's a true artistic masterpiece in the annals of public meltdowns as well as a masterful display of profanity.  The audio of this clip will live on longer than any knowledge of the Cubs' performance during Elia's tenure.

Denny Green Loses His Shit
Since I'm a Bears fan I remember well the game when Green's Cardinals improbably lost to a Chicago team that had no right winning that game.  Obviously frustrated with his team and the usual barrage of stupid questions at the press conference, Green lost his shit.  "If you want to crown them, then crown their ass" was a personal catchphrase for me for a couple of months afterward.

Oklahoma State Coach Mike Gundy Goes Gonzo On the Media
Three years from now I will walk around screaming "I'm a man, I'm 40!" on my birthday because of this clip.  When overly testosteroned masculine authority figures like football coaches shout in front of people with twice their IQ, I always have to chuckle.

LBJ Talks About Pants
Listening to the most powerful man in the world needle a pants manufacturer about needing more inseam room while burping into the phone and saying words like "bunghole" is about as surreal as it is hilarious.

Richard Nixon Drunk Dials His Chief of Staff
Might as well close this out with one of the few modern politicians who has Romney beat when it comes to mendacity and lack of scruples in pursuing power.  Nixon set himself up as the representative of the "silent majority" and a figure of moral forthrightness, but in this phone call, when he's drunk dialing Bob Haldeman, he sounds like the pathetic, slimy liar that he truly was.

Expanded Academic Misery Quiz

My Academic Misery Index Quiz seems to have struck a nerve, and since I enjoyed writing it so much, here's an expanded version. As I said before, one's level of bitterness towards academia is dependent in large part on one's institution and department. I spent three years at a regional state university Moloch whose dysfunction was only matched by its ability to crush sensitive souls. I know other folks who work at institutions with similar missions and numbers of students, but who are much happier because they work in supportive departments overseen by competent administrators. Use this quiz as a guide to determine your ability to endure your current academic job with your sanity intact.

Part One

Each "A"answer is worth zero points, each "B" answer one point, each "C" answer two points, and each "D" answer five points.

1. How would you describe your university?

A. A nationally recognized institution with a stellar reputation.

B. A solid school that's not quite the big time, but with plenty of name recognition.

C. A "first rate second rate" university with plenty of faults but a basic commitment to upholding the standards of the profession.

D. A dysfunctional, bottom-feeding fly-by-night operation so obscure that when you go to conferences and tell people where you're from, they give you a blank stare or judgemental glare.

2. How would you describe the students at your university?

A. They are self-motivated, mature adults with a love of learning.

B. They are smart yet entitled children of privilege who need some prodding.

C. They are middle of the road intellectually and see their classes with a mostly vocational understanding, i.e., "why do I have to take this class?"

D. They are barely literate and seem to have no clue whatsoever as to why they are in college in the first place. The few brain cells they have left after nightly games of beer pong are devoted to texting.

3. How would you describe the town where your university is located?

A. A world-class city brimming over with fine dining, cultural events, and like-minded individuals.

B. An idyllic college town with a relaxed atmosphere and lots of cultural amenities.

C. A non-college town, mid-sized city that's a little boring, but at least has all the stuff you need, and the occasional cultural event.

D. A backwoods 'burg lacking a decent sit-down restaurant where the locals actively resent the university community for making them look like the countrified rubes that they are.

4. What are the politics of your department like?

A. What politics? We all love each other and most of us are good friends.

B. There are minor disputes, and we aren't all that close, but mostly because we're too busy to fight.

C. The silverbacks and the young'uns clash from time to time, but mostly inside departmental and committee meetings. We all know the two people who hate each other's guts, but the rest of us stay out of that mess.

D. They make Renaissance Florence look like an eight year old girl's tea party. Long-held grudges, character assassination, and intentional sabotage are the norm.

5. How would you describe your chair?

A. A far-sighted leader who tirelessly strives to protect the best interests of the department.

B. A competent technocrat who gets the job done but lacks vision.

C. A well-meaning buffoon who mostly tries to avoid doing work.

D. A malicious control-freak who plays favorites and considers any alternative viewpoint to be treason.

6. What is your institution doing with assessment?

A. What's assessment?

B. Writing standard boilerplate to keep the accreditation people happy but little that faculty have to deal with.

C. There's lots of pointless meetings and discussion and it's a big annoyance, but profs are not really told what to do in the classroom.

D. Faculty have lost control over what material is taught in their courses and spend a great deal of their time filling out asinine forms and getting reprimanded for failing to follow hopelessly labrynthine policies to the letter.

7. What happens when you report a plagiarism case?

A. I have to hold back the chair and dean from nailing the student to a cross.

B. There's lots of paperwork and I am asked to give the student the benefit of the doubt, but if I want to punish a student, I am able to do it.

C. I am reluctant to push cases because I am usually asked to lessen my penalties.

D. The chair and other higher-ups immediately take the student's side, and get irritated with me for taking up their time.

8. How would you describe your university's priorities?

A. To achieve educational excellence and foster world-class scholarship.

B. To provide a quality education for its students and give some support to research.

C. Mostly football and manipulating the categories in the US News rankings.

D. To keep distracting outsiders from the fact that the place is a complete joke and ought to be shut down.

9. What's the financial outlook of your institution like?

A. We are a wealthy private school with a huge endowment that our regents swim in like Scrooge McDuck.

B. We have had to make some cutbacks in course offerings and travel budgets, but faculty have mostly been spared.

C. Our state government is run by anti-intellectual GOP blockheads who force us to make do with less with each passing year. There's less money for research and few raises, but our jobs are relatively safe.

D. We have a psychotic governor hell-bent on destroying whole programs and firing tenured professors with budget cuts/we are a poor private school running on a showstring budget always begging alumni for money which is only keeping us afloat for just one more year.

10. When you talk to your faculty friends outside of class, what sentence are you most likely to utter or hear?

A. "Wasn't the pinot grigio at the faculty reception last night delightful?"

B. "With the cutbacks it looks like I won't be able to get the library to order all of the books on my list."

C. "I don't know how they expect me to teach more students with these increased tenure and service requirements."

D. "If I can't get a job somewhere else this year I will end up dying of alcohol poisoning."

11. How would you describe a typical departmental faculty meeting?

A. A welcome opportunity to get everyone together and be collegial.

B. A minor annoyance that is usually blessedly brief.

C. A prolonged, unorganized exercise in silverback resentment and junior scholar superkeenerism that rarely solves anything.

D. A horrifying parade of stupidity and malice so nerve-wracking that I have to take a xanax to be able to endure it without crying or running out screaming.

12. What is your school's attitude towards office hours?

A. We are supposed to hold them at some point, but I'm not sure when they are, exactly.

B. We have three mandated office hours, but it isn't much of a burden.

C. We have five office hours a week and are expected to keep our doors open at all times during them.

D. We have ten office hours a week, and the chair will call me at home if I happen to duck out five minutes early on a slow day.

13. How does your department handle academic advising?

A. We have peons for that.

B. A couple of poor saps do it as part of their service, but get a course reduction.

C. We all have to pitch in and do it, but at least we share the burden.

D. I am one of the people press-ganged into doing it without a course reduction, and typically have two weeks of my semester rendered unproductive by a constant stream of slackjawed idiots who want me to figure out their schedules for them.

14. How would you describe your dean?

A. A wonderfully engaging ally who is always willing to listen.

B. A careerist looking to climb the ladder to another school, but at least competent.

C. A meddling dolt who spends meetings mouthing every trendy administrative catchphrase, from "accountability" to "sustainability."

D. A ruthlessly authoritarian presence constantly forcing departments to conform to their vision of the university.

15. Which type of conversation among faculty are you most likely to hear as you pass down the hallway?

A. A witty and engaged discussion of the finer points of research and pedagogy.

B. The usual small talk.

C. Lots of complaining about the latest administrative initiative.

D. Resentful white men decrying their own supposed marginalization with plenty of borderline racist, sexist, and homophobic comments thrown in.

Part Two

These questions have more points at stake because they make the difference between a tolerable situation and soul-crushing anomie. Each "A" answer is worth 0 points, each "B" answer is worth five points, each "C" answer ten points and each "D" answer fifteen points.

1. Which best describes the kind of academic job that you currently have?

A. You possess the great golden ring of tenure.

B. A tenure track position with the tenure clock ticking away.

C. A "visitor" or lecturer position with limited appointment and substandard pay.

D. A temporary adjunct position with no security paid by the course.

2. How far away does your job force you to live from your significant other?

A. You get to live with your significant other.

B. You have to live in different towns, but are able to see each other on the weekend.

C. You live so far apart that you cannot see each other more than once a month.

D. You used to have a significant other until your forced separation destroyed your relationship/you are forced to live in such a benighted rural outpost that Ron Paul has a better chance of getting elected president than you do of finding a suitable partner.

3. When you show up at work on Monday morning, what statement best describes your thought process?

A. It's great to be back to doing the thing that I love.

B. This week will be good if I don't have any more bullshit excuses from my students and just plain bullshit from my administrators.

C. I'd like this job a lot more if I was on the tenure track.

D. How can I get to my office without crossing paths with the colleagues who make me want to stab myself with a dull butter knife?

Scoring:

After tallying up your scores, look the misery index below:

0-15 points: Shangri-La

Congratulations, you are living the academic dream! The next time you think about complaining about your job, please do the rest of us a favor and shut the fuck up.

16-30 points: The Good Life

You have the right to the occasional gripe, but things are looking good. If you can avoid the tendency in this profession never to be satisfied, you'll have a happy and fulfilling time at your institution.

31-50 points: The Danger Zone

If you don't absolutely love academic work with all of your heart and soul, it might be time to explore other options.

50+ points: Soul-sucking Misery

Get the hell out while you are still young and relatively sane. If not you will end up like the senior colleagues you respect who always have looks of bemused sadness on their faces.

Academic Misery Index Quiz

I promised not to talk about my new job on this blog, party because nobody wants to hear about it, but mostly because my new employer heavily frowns on it (and besides, my students are minors.) But I will say this: I love it. Love love love love love it. During my morning commute on the first day, I lamented the chain of events that had gotten me cast out of academia. I lament no more, and instead exult in my good fortune to be doing a job I enjoy in a city I adore while living with my soul mate. Alright, I'll stop my gushing, and get to the point.

When I think about my current state of happiness, I contemplate the awfulness that I endured as a low-wage "visitor" and an assistant prof at a totally dysfunctional institution located in a cultural backwater. Many of my academic friends have less bitter attitudes about the profession, and I've been thinking about how their jobs differed than mine, and those of some of my other friends, who are not as happy. So, for shits and giggles, I decided to concoct an academic misery quiz, one that should tell you whether you should find a new job.

Each "A"answer is worth zero points, each "B" answer one point, each "C" answer two points, and each "D" answer five points.

1. Which best describes the kind of academic job that you currently have?

A. You possess the great golden ring of tenure.

B. A tenure track position with the tenure clock ticking away.

C. A "visitor" or lecturer position with limited appointment and substandard pay.

D. A temporary adjunct position with no security paid by the course.

2. How would you describe the students at your university?

A. They are self-motivated, mature adults with a love of learning.

B. They are smart yet entitled children of privilege who need some prodding.

C. They are middle of the road intellectually and see their classes with a mostly vocational understanding, i.e., "why do I have to take this class?"

D. They are barely literate and seem to have no clue whatsoever as to why they are in college in the first place. The few brain cells they have left after nightly games of beer pong are devoted to texting.

3. How would you describe the town where your university is located?

A. A world-class city brimming over with fine dining, cultural events, and like-minded individuals.

B. An idyllic college town with a relaxed atmosphere and lots of cultural amenities.

C. A non-college town, mid-sized city that's a little boring, but at least has all the stuff you need, and the occasional cultural event.

D. A backwoods 'burg lacking a decent sit-down restaurant where the locals actively resent the university community for making them look like the countrified rubes that they are.

4. What are the politics of your department like?

A. What politics? We all love each other and most of us are good friends.

B. There are minor disputes, and we aren't all that close, but mostly because we're too busy to fight.

C. The silverbacks and the young'uns clash from time to time, but mostly inside departmental and committee meetings. We all know the two people who hate each other's guts, but the rest of us stay out of that mess.

D. They make Renaissance Florence look like an eight year old girl's tea party. Long-held grudges, character assassination, and intentional sabotage are the norm.

5. How would you describe your chair?

A. A far-sighted leader who tirelessly strives to protect the best interests of the department.

B. A competent technocrat who gets the job done but lacks vision.

C. A well-meaning buffoon who mostly tries to avoid doing work.

D. A malicious control-freak who plays favorites and considers any alternative viewpoint to be treason.

6. What is your institution doing with assessment?

A. What's assessment?

B. Writing standard boilerplate to keep the accreditation people happy but little that faculty have to deal with.

C. There's lots of pointless meetings and discussion and it's a big annoyance, but profs are not really told what to do in the classroom.

D. Faculty have lost control over what material is taught in their courses and spend a great deal of their time filling out asinine forms and getting reprimanded for failing to follow hopelessly labrynthine policies to the letter.

7. What happens when you report a plagiarism case?

A. I have to hold back the chair and dean from nailing the student to a cross.

B. There's lots of paperwork and I am asked to give the student the benefit of the doubt, but if I want to punish a student, I am able to do it.

C. I am reluctant to push cases because I am usually asked to lessen my penalties.

D. The chair and other higher-ups immediately take the student's side, and get irritated with me for taking up their time.

8. How would you describe your university's priorities?

A. To achieve educational excellence and foster world-class scholarship.

B. To provide a quality education for its students and give some support to research.

C. Mostly football and manipulating the categories in the US News rankings.

D. To keep distracting outsiders from the fact that the place is a complete joke and ought to be shut down.

9. What's the financial outlook of your institution like?

A. We are a wealthy private school with a huge endowment that our regents swim in like Scrooge McDuck.

B. We have had to make some cutbacks in course offerings and travel budgets, but faculty have mostly been spared.

C. Our state government is run by anti-intellectual GOP blockheads who force us to make do with less with each passing year. There's less money for research and few raises, but our jobs are relatively safe.

D. We have a psychotic governor hell-bent on destroying whole programs and firing tenured professors with budget cuts/we are a poor private school running on a showstring budget always begging alumni for money which is only keeping us afloat for just one more year.

10. When you talk to your faculty friends outside of class, what sentence are you most likely to utter or hear?

A. "Wasn't the pinot grigio at the faculty reception last night delightful?"

B. "With the cutbacks it looks like I won't be able to get the library to order all of the books on my list."

C. "I don't know how they expect me to teach more students with these increased tenure and service requirements."

D. "If I can't get a job somewhere else this year I will end up dying of alcohol poisoning."

Scoring:

After tallying up your scores, look the misery index below:

0-10 points: Shangri-La

Congratulations, you are living the academic dream! The next time you think about complaining about your job, please do the rest of us a favor and shut the fuck up.

11-20 points: The Good Life

You have the right to the occasional gripe, but things are looking good. If you can avoid the tendency in this profession never to be satisfied, you'll have a happy and fulfilling time at your institution.

21-30 points: The Danger Zone

If don't absolutely love academic work with all of your heart and soul, it might be time to explore your options.

31-50 points: Soul-sucking Misery

Get the hell out while you are still young and relatively sane. If not you will end up like the senior colleagues you respect who always have looks of bemused sadness on their faces.