The last two days have meant settling into a groove. Today was probably the smoothest day of home schooling. My daughters now have assignments from their teachers, so I no longer have to figure out everything for themselves. My daughters have also been attentive, especially when an old friend taught them some Japanese over the internet.
I have been talking to people as much as possible. I called a friend last night, talked to my aforementioned friend/teacher today, called a family member, and spent a lot of time writing back and forth with another family member. It felt good to have those conversations, even if they went into dark territory.
Yesterday my wife and daughters went to the dentist. This was the first trip we had made out of the house in days. It's a place we have been going to for years and I have a lot of affection for the people who work there. I found out they were going to have to shut down about as soon as we left for awhile. One of the hygienists, who is always so sweet and tender with my daughters, broke down in tears talking to my wife about having to file for unemployment. The economic effects are showing up well beyond the stock market, which crashed again today.
Leaving the home and getting in my car felt surreal. There was fear in most people's eyes and an overwhelming sense of insecurity. Today I went for a long walk, my first in days. I noticed other kids, like mine, were playing in their driveways. I was a little surprised at the number of cars on the road, which seemed more than yesterday when I drove to the dentist. I wonder how much distancing is really going on.
There was an odd moment today when I sat on the front stoop watching my daughters play. My mail carrier came by, and we had an awkward moment. I assumed she did not want to hand me my mail, and she assumed I didn't want to take it directly from her. I asked her if it was okay if I took it, and she smiled and said she wasn't as concerned as other people.
Today I felt the tectonic plates of history moving. The last time I felt like this was in 2016, with the double hit of Brexit and Trump. I felt the old post-Cold War order falling away. I get the feeling that this crisis will only further catalyze this change. For years we have been in a world of nationalism, of narrowed minds and closed borders. The virus only gives those forces more firepower.
Right now the future looks more uncertain than it has in almost any time of my life. 9/11 certainly doused me with uncertainty, but the military response set the tone of the new order pretty quickly It's so hard to tell where we are headed, or what's going to happen. How in the heck can we have a national election in this environment? Seeing the president embrace the "China virus" narrative while Asians and Asian-Americans in this country face violence has me fearing a pogrom. If cannot deflect blame for his failure through some razzle dazzle, he will lean on racism and xenophobia. Meanwhile, his opposition is fractured between timid liberals too weak to rise to the occasion and sclerotic leftists who only seem interested in tearing down the aforementioned liberals. I am not confident in the future.
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